1822-05-27+-+James'+thoughts

Wow, I have never seen a man killed with bare hands so quickly. It is both terrifying and impressive. I need to learn how to do that myself. I don't know if this has anything to do with that Anne-Marie was talking about. He could be in the process of unleashing or whatever that was she was talking about.

I'm beginning to see how effective Benjamin is at manipulation. Him and Brocc kill a man and suddenly it's my fault! If only they would have stopped with the wagon for a moment. But anyways, it seems like my goals have been well services. Ben seems to consider himself in-charge. It is a terrible irony of human nature that the most self-serving always have to be in-charge so that their interests will correspond with that of the group. Still, this is a good situation to be in, Ben has the right goals, perhaps for the wrong reasons, but that's better for now than the wrong goals for the right reasons.

One of these days I should really attempt to settle down and return to a more intellectual life. This abbey has been a very soothing experience and being able to sit here and reflect on things has been very enlightening.