Benjamin+Clifford+-+May+5,+1822

Thank God we made it out of that one. I'm glad to have escaped Maynooth, and I dread the thought of returning. Naas is paradise in comparison.

I must find a way to work with James. He is clearly a man of intelligence... in some ways. He attacked that research with an intensity I've seen more often in animals than in men, yet his survival instincts confuse and perturb me. I doubt if an authoritarian approach will work, but how can I win his favour? Provide him with a job, perhaps...?

Eli is an interesting character. I must decide if he is a friend or an enemy. He could be very effective at either one.

I really don't understand what happened with the captain. He's not very forthcoming with any details or insight he may have, but there must have been a reason those cultists gave up their lives for his. And that business with the "Spear-bearer" was very strange. I could have sworn he was going to kill us, but... he didn't. He tried to make me feel small, or perhaps he sees me as small. Perhaps he is right - perhaps I am to him what a bacterium is to me. However, bacteria have no awareness of humans, but it seems we at least have the **capacity** for knowledge of them, and even interaction with them. Timothy did so, and was squashed. It is a tragedy and it breaks my heart to think of it, yet it enlightens me - if I am to survive to become anything beyond a bacterium in this world, I must gain perspective. I must understand what makes them so big... and perhaps grow in stature myself.

I will admit to being nervous about the captain's last conversation with Anglade, though not curious enough to eavesdrop. Whatever it was, it was serious, and I have a feeling that our business to do with St. Patrick's College is not over.

I am optimistic about having Mr. Celata around. He is a capable man, though I must determine how much I trust him, and likewise I must get him to trust me. The safety of Rebecca and the children is of the utmost importance. The competence of a hired man will do me no good if he cannot appreciate that. I have caught a glimpse of the world that would take them from me, and it is a rich world of power and evil. Perhaps Celata could be seduced by it. I may have to educate him on the nature of that world. He will likely have to face it someday, and he must be prepared to protect my Rebecca from it.